One of the big differences between what children believe and what adults know is the concept of "happily ever after". Children stories and fairy tales end with, "... and they all lived happily ever after". Adults have seen a good part of life and know that problems are a part of it, regardless of how good one's career, family and other stuff are. Problems range from minor irritations to major issues, and one considers oneself happy if one's problems are minor irritations only. But then again, major issues do keep cropping up and one has to always be ready to solve them and minimize the damage. Someone having things going well is a testament to his/her being able to tackle the major issues, amongst other things.
One of my major complaints of Indian middle class society is the perpetuation of the myth of "happily ever after" in young minds. How many kids in school have been told that getting good marks will get them successful careers, which will make them live happily ever after? How many youngsters aspire for the first great paying job in order to have their life made? How many people believe that life is perfect if one is in the USA?
We all want children to dream big. They should see all that the world has to offer to them. Also, they can be playful. Determination and seriousness is something that they need to develop growing up. However, giving a false promise is not the way to go. Rather than preparing children for the one-off goal (getting into IIT, going to US), one has to teach them about what life ahead requires. This brings me to another question. Is it the parents who themselves believe that if their kids go to IIT or the US, they (the parents) will live happily ever after? Do they believe that if their kids are "settled", earning a huge salary, everyone will live happily ever after? I remember some parents looking at their son/daughter's classmate and thinking "That kid has it made. I wish my kid were like that." The media talks about 10th standard toppers (or even 7th standard toppers) and interviews the "successful" kid. My take on that is - You're talking about a little kid who is yet to see a lot of problems in life. The kid has a lot of work to do before he/she can even be set in a career.
The "happily ever after" myth has a lot of negative consequences. I have known batchmates at IIT who have completely messed up their first year because they didn't realize that they needed to continue to work at IIT. They were told things were "made" for them when they got into IIT. Some friends of mine learned that life with their dream job was not what they imagined it to be. There were pressures at work, and always stuff to do. Looking back, their IIT days seemed happier.
Many young couples also suffer from a variation of the same myth. The marriage between the young charming prince and young beautiful princess, with the wonderful compliments of "they look so good together" doesn't lead to a "happily ever after" situation. While many couples get past the initial storm of false expectations, some don't do as well. I've known 3 school classmates who were divorced (2 are remarried) before they were 25!
The other contribution to the myth are what we see in others. Successful people look like they have it made. We never think about the day to day struggles people like AR Rahman, Anil Ambani and CNR Rao go through. That holds the same for the successful relative or neighbour. We assume their jobs are good and well paying and everything is great because they drive that nice car and that they seem happy. We forget that they also deal with people, successes, failures, family, health, things beyond their control, just like all of us. The fact that we don't know about these things is simply because we are not looking for them. We only choose to see our "happily ever after" myth.
So here's my advice to young people. There is no such thing as "happily ever after" no matter how many exams you top, or awards you win, fame you get or money you earn. Some things make life easier (having a college degree) or more satisfying (a reward for effort), but there will always be day-to-day struggles just like everyone else and the occasional bad patch, no matter what. As a corollary, no one has it perfect, not even the most successful people you've seen.
(Started this a long time ago. Decided that it was worth completing)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Legends of our times
As a kid, I often heard adults speak about things "back in the days". I never imagined that I would one day be saying exactly that, and that too before the age of thirty. Before we forget them, a list of things that we should salute to. Fill me on what I've missed.
(And of course, all these are with respect to mainstream urban life in India. Lots of villages still live in similar or more primitive times)
1. Phones
a. Dialling with an actual dial.
b. The privileged landline, with lesser fortunate ones having to share and pay per call.
c. Expensive and hard to connect STD calls
d. One phone for the family
e. Setting up rendezvous at very specific locations
2. Letters
a. Inlands - writing on every centimeter
b. Postcards - quick cheap communication
c. Aerogrammes - amazing things which travelled the seas.
3. Music
a. Audio cassettes - Sequential music! Remember the fancy players which could play both sides?
b. Tapes that get old and whiny. Reel breaks, cassette players which eat tapes.
c. The joys in dubbing, and making an assorted tape with all your favourite songs.
d. The walkman - That cool fancy device whose name is a Sony copyright.
4. Rarities
a. When Thums-up was for the special day when parents were happy with you
b. Pepsi was for the cool kids. Not for the "aam admi".
b. The 200ml of Frooty always got over so fast
c. Fancy cream biscuits. Brittania Bourbon, my favourite!
5. Transportation
a. When Ambassadors and Fiats ruled. Maruti 800 just came in.
b. Before the railways had AC.
c. When plane travel was extraordinarily rare, so rare that I thought one needed a passport to fly.
6. Television
a. How can one forget Doordarshan, it's news, shows, cricket, movies and all. Everyone watched DD.
b. When DD metro, the 2nd channel, was a privilege of the 4 metropolitan cities.
c. When Ramayan would start 20 minutes late due to advertisements.
d. VCRs & VCPs, those rare and fancy things. The effort in trying to make a copy of a video tape.
7. Cameras
a. The film roll - 36 photos, "Don't expose it to sunlight", "Make sure it has loaded properly"
b. Developing and printing - It took 2 days before you knew what kind of photo you took. Hopefully you hadn't stuck your finger in the middle.
8. Computers
I needn't state the obvious. Coming from the times of "what is a computer" to the youtube & facebook age. Still continuously changing and a lot more to come.
(And of course, all these are with respect to mainstream urban life in India. Lots of villages still live in similar or more primitive times)
1. Phones
a. Dialling with an actual dial.
b. The privileged landline, with lesser fortunate ones having to share and pay per call.
c. Expensive and hard to connect STD calls
d. One phone for the family
e. Setting up rendezvous at very specific locations
2. Letters
a. Inlands - writing on every centimeter
b. Postcards - quick cheap communication
c. Aerogrammes - amazing things which travelled the seas.
3. Music
a. Audio cassettes - Sequential music! Remember the fancy players which could play both sides?
b. Tapes that get old and whiny. Reel breaks, cassette players which eat tapes.
c. The joys in dubbing, and making an assorted tape with all your favourite songs.
d. The walkman - That cool fancy device whose name is a Sony copyright.
4. Rarities
a. When Thums-up was for the special day when parents were happy with you
b. Pepsi was for the cool kids. Not for the "aam admi".
b. The 200ml of Frooty always got over so fast
c. Fancy cream biscuits. Brittania Bourbon, my favourite!
5. Transportation
a. When Ambassadors and Fiats ruled. Maruti 800 just came in.
b. Before the railways had AC.
c. When plane travel was extraordinarily rare, so rare that I thought one needed a passport to fly.
6. Television
a. How can one forget Doordarshan, it's news, shows, cricket, movies and all. Everyone watched DD.
b. When DD metro, the 2nd channel, was a privilege of the 4 metropolitan cities.
c. When Ramayan would start 20 minutes late due to advertisements.
d. VCRs & VCPs, those rare and fancy things. The effort in trying to make a copy of a video tape.
7. Cameras
a. The film roll - 36 photos, "Don't expose it to sunlight", "Make sure it has loaded properly"
b. Developing and printing - It took 2 days before you knew what kind of photo you took. Hopefully you hadn't stuck your finger in the middle.
8. Computers
I needn't state the obvious. Coming from the times of "what is a computer" to the youtube & facebook age. Still continuously changing and a lot more to come.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
"Rainbows" from the plane
In my many endeavours to get good photographs from the plane, I once noticed some faint rainbow like colours in the sky below. I wasn't imagining it. On careful observation, I noticed it was more pronounced with clouds, with the overall mist providing a background. I took some photos to later analyze on my computer. Here is what I got. The phenomenon was real indeed. The left are the unprocessed images. The right are the same images with colour greatly enhanced (using Irfanview). Your eyes automatically do these things and can spot the slightest of colour.
While it puzzled me, I left it in the background to ask a physicist friend sometime. It was such a small effect that I would need to show the photo to ask the question. I forgot about it until I undertook a flight a year later. This time, the effect was very clear. With the sun behind me, I could see clear colour bands on clouds, near the shadow of the plane (Open in new tab to see better).
It made sense. I was seeing a rainbow. A rainbow is formed when light undergoes total internal reflection off a water droplet. Clouds also have water droplets. Sunlight reflected off water droplets made the rainbow. Here are some explanatory images from wikipedia .
Simple, isn't it? Well, not so. A rainbow is formed at 42 degrees. So, if you drew a line from your location (your eyes) to your shadow (with conventional rainbows, if you don't see the sun, you might have to imagine where your shadow will fall), and another one from your location to the rainbow (anywhere on it), it will make an angle of 40-42 degrees. A second rainbow (if present) forms at an angle of 50-52 degrees. However, the "rainbows" I was seeing formed at an angle 5-10 degrees and they had multiple ones close by.
With wikipedia, I found I was seeing a phenomenon called "optical glory". The name derives from the Brocken, the tallest peak of the Harz mountain range in Germany. Because the peak is above the cloud level, and the area is frequently misty, the condition of a shadow cast onto a cloud layer is relatively favored and often seen with the coloured halo around the observer's head.
Glory cannot be explained by simple ray diagrams. It is said to be due to some form of interference and back-scattering. Mie scattering, the theory which includes all kinds of scattering off particles of a certain size, predicts that 10-20 micron sized droplets (note - rain drops are 100 times larger) would produce such coloured rings. The angle of the glory tells about the size of the droplet. There are also a host of similar optical phenomenon which produce colour in the sky, depending on the kind of cloud and the position of the sun (Optical Phenomenon).
Everything explained. We're good, right? Well, not quite. Having studied optics, I would have liked an explanation which gave me a reasonable picture in mind (like the rainbow ray diagram) as opposed to "crunch the numbers and you'll get it". Mie scattering theory is one of the messiest theories, which offers very little easy insight. So, I will have to give up my privileged insider status, remain a layman and just repeat what I'm told, just as I do for questions on cosmology and String Theory. I hope the theory of optical glory does not change very soon.
Meanwhile, whenever you get a chance, take a look at the sky. And choose a window seat when flying. You never know what you'll see!
While it puzzled me, I left it in the background to ask a physicist friend sometime. It was such a small effect that I would need to show the photo to ask the question. I forgot about it until I undertook a flight a year later. This time, the effect was very clear. With the sun behind me, I could see clear colour bands on clouds, near the shadow of the plane (Open in new tab to see better).
It made sense. I was seeing a rainbow. A rainbow is formed when light undergoes total internal reflection off a water droplet. Clouds also have water droplets. Sunlight reflected off water droplets made the rainbow. Here are some explanatory images from wikipedia .
Simple, isn't it? Well, not so. A rainbow is formed at 42 degrees. So, if you drew a line from your location (your eyes) to your shadow (with conventional rainbows, if you don't see the sun, you might have to imagine where your shadow will fall), and another one from your location to the rainbow (anywhere on it), it will make an angle of 40-42 degrees. A second rainbow (if present) forms at an angle of 50-52 degrees. However, the "rainbows" I was seeing formed at an angle 5-10 degrees and they had multiple ones close by.
With wikipedia, I found I was seeing a phenomenon called "optical glory". The name derives from the Brocken, the tallest peak of the Harz mountain range in Germany. Because the peak is above the cloud level, and the area is frequently misty, the condition of a shadow cast onto a cloud layer is relatively favored and often seen with the coloured halo around the observer's head.
Glory cannot be explained by simple ray diagrams. It is said to be due to some form of interference and back-scattering. Mie scattering, the theory which includes all kinds of scattering off particles of a certain size, predicts that 10-20 micron sized droplets (note - rain drops are 100 times larger) would produce such coloured rings. The angle of the glory tells about the size of the droplet. There are also a host of similar optical phenomenon which produce colour in the sky, depending on the kind of cloud and the position of the sun (Optical Phenomenon).
Everything explained. We're good, right? Well, not quite. Having studied optics, I would have liked an explanation which gave me a reasonable picture in mind (like the rainbow ray diagram) as opposed to "crunch the numbers and you'll get it". Mie scattering theory is one of the messiest theories, which offers very little easy insight. So, I will have to give up my privileged insider status, remain a layman and just repeat what I'm told, just as I do for questions on cosmology and String Theory. I hope the theory of optical glory does not change very soon.
Meanwhile, whenever you get a chance, take a look at the sky. And choose a window seat when flying. You never know what you'll see!
Sunday, July 12, 2009
10 Things I learnt in the US - part 2
6. Guns
We've seen them in movies. People keep guns at home. But to actually meet a gun owner was still shocking. I'm also not used to people talking casually about playing with assault rifles or hunting. I happened to go to a gun show once (It was side-by-side with the Heritage India festival), and was amazed by the murder weapons all around, all on sale! Thankfully, loaded guns were not allowed inside. In trying to buy a gun, I found out that one needed to apply for a license, which typically takes 3 days (Thank God, some regulations atleast).
Many people feel that they need guns in case the government attacks them. Others go by "Who will protect your family at home against an intruder?". ("Bowling for Columbine" talks all about this). It is quite amazing that many people feel safer with a murder weapon at home.
7. The Respected Professions
In India, the respectable people are those with a high education and/or high position - doctors, professors, IAS officers, company general managers, etc. However, in the US, people respect those who do a service for the community without high pay. Doctors are CEOs are looked at as money making. Lawyers are totally detested. Professors are looked as elitist. Civil administrators are "part of the Government". School teachers, police officers, military personnel and firemen are the respected professions. They are the ones quoted in newspapers to give a true testimony as to what people feel.
8. Insurance (and Credit Card) Scams
I never realized that scamming could be part a successful business model. One of the simplest ways to make money is to make people fight in order to claim money that was rightfully theirs. Many people don't notice the "mistake", while others try to fight, but get too busy and then forget about it. Insurance companies, apart from the highly regulated home, health and car insurance, are pretty much a law upon themselves. There is always fine print, or millions of documents to provide along with hours on the telephone to claim what should have been yours at the start. For those who fight till the end, like grad students with plenty of time, the company does pay up, and despite all the trouble it has caused, can claim to have "done its job" and move on to the next victim. And until the company name is pasted all over the internet with bad reviews, the scam goes on.
9. Minority religion groups
That there were many conservative Christian groups is one thing. Finding non-mainstream groups who have ultra-conservative beliefs is more shocking. From a colleague of mine, who was once a Mormon, I found out that Mormons live in almost a parallel universe, where creationism, belief in their prophet (who lived in the 1800s), communication with God are all truths, where coffee and alcohol do not exist and where all young people must spend 2 years of their lives in missionary service. One would expect the pluralistic nature of American society, along with communication and media, to prevent people from being so orthodox. But that isn't the case. Like Mormons, there are orthodox Jews, who don't operate machinery on Saturday (due to Sabbath), Amish people who still use horses for transportation, and probably several other lesser groups too.
There are also many extreme Hindu groups, whose views on Christianity and Islam would shock the average Indian ("Christianity and Islam, Capitalism and Communism are the 4 axes of evil in the world"). Some youths take a year off from education or work, to devote their time to the Hindu Swayamsevak Sangh, which sounds uncannily similar to Mormons spending time for missionary service. I wouldn't be surprised if similar groups exist for Islam too.
10. Nicknames
This is one of the more everyday things which does not take long to figure out. Prior to coming to the US, I always believed your name, when formally asked was what is written in your documents. However, during my first teaching lab, when I asked a group of students what their names where, I got "Jen... Ed... Al...". I soon realized that one could choose one's first name everywhere - what your colleagues call you, your credit card, name plate - except for very serious things like your driving license or passport. Many names have an associated short form, like William-Bill, Joseph-Joe, Amanda-Mandy. Some parents even choose a name based on its short form (a friend of mine was named Amanda because her Mom liked the name Mandy). Others, who have a foreign name, choose a more American short form (my favourite is Devarajan-Dave). Still others, (I've known many such Chinese) completely abandon any resemblance to the original name (Weihao - Jennifer, Zhechun-Lance). To all those parents who have ambitious plans to name their kids, if your kids don't like their given name, you may find them being called something completely different.
We've seen them in movies. People keep guns at home. But to actually meet a gun owner was still shocking. I'm also not used to people talking casually about playing with assault rifles or hunting. I happened to go to a gun show once (It was side-by-side with the Heritage India festival), and was amazed by the murder weapons all around, all on sale! Thankfully, loaded guns were not allowed inside. In trying to buy a gun, I found out that one needed to apply for a license, which typically takes 3 days (Thank God, some regulations atleast).
Many people feel that they need guns in case the government attacks them. Others go by "Who will protect your family at home against an intruder?". ("Bowling for Columbine" talks all about this). It is quite amazing that many people feel safer with a murder weapon at home.
7. The Respected Professions
In India, the respectable people are those with a high education and/or high position - doctors, professors, IAS officers, company general managers, etc. However, in the US, people respect those who do a service for the community without high pay. Doctors are CEOs are looked at as money making. Lawyers are totally detested. Professors are looked as elitist. Civil administrators are "part of the Government". School teachers, police officers, military personnel and firemen are the respected professions. They are the ones quoted in newspapers to give a true testimony as to what people feel.
8. Insurance (and Credit Card) Scams
I never realized that scamming could be part a successful business model. One of the simplest ways to make money is to make people fight in order to claim money that was rightfully theirs. Many people don't notice the "mistake", while others try to fight, but get too busy and then forget about it. Insurance companies, apart from the highly regulated home, health and car insurance, are pretty much a law upon themselves. There is always fine print, or millions of documents to provide along with hours on the telephone to claim what should have been yours at the start. For those who fight till the end, like grad students with plenty of time, the company does pay up, and despite all the trouble it has caused, can claim to have "done its job" and move on to the next victim. And until the company name is pasted all over the internet with bad reviews, the scam goes on.
9. Minority religion groups
That there were many conservative Christian groups is one thing. Finding non-mainstream groups who have ultra-conservative beliefs is more shocking. From a colleague of mine, who was once a Mormon, I found out that Mormons live in almost a parallel universe, where creationism, belief in their prophet (who lived in the 1800s), communication with God are all truths, where coffee and alcohol do not exist and where all young people must spend 2 years of their lives in missionary service. One would expect the pluralistic nature of American society, along with communication and media, to prevent people from being so orthodox. But that isn't the case. Like Mormons, there are orthodox Jews, who don't operate machinery on Saturday (due to Sabbath), Amish people who still use horses for transportation, and probably several other lesser groups too.
There are also many extreme Hindu groups, whose views on Christianity and Islam would shock the average Indian ("Christianity and Islam, Capitalism and Communism are the 4 axes of evil in the world"). Some youths take a year off from education or work, to devote their time to the Hindu Swayamsevak Sangh, which sounds uncannily similar to Mormons spending time for missionary service. I wouldn't be surprised if similar groups exist for Islam too.
10. Nicknames
This is one of the more everyday things which does not take long to figure out. Prior to coming to the US, I always believed your name, when formally asked was what is written in your documents. However, during my first teaching lab, when I asked a group of students what their names where, I got "Jen... Ed... Al...". I soon realized that one could choose one's first name everywhere - what your colleagues call you, your credit card, name plate - except for very serious things like your driving license or passport. Many names have an associated short form, like William-Bill, Joseph-Joe, Amanda-Mandy. Some parents even choose a name based on its short form (a friend of mine was named Amanda because her Mom liked the name Mandy). Others, who have a foreign name, choose a more American short form (my favourite is Devarajan-Dave). Still others, (I've known many such Chinese) completely abandon any resemblance to the original name (Weihao - Jennifer, Zhechun-Lance). To all those parents who have ambitious plans to name their kids, if your kids don't like their given name, you may find them being called something completely different.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
10 Things I learnt in the US - part 1
Back in India, we hear a lot about the US - News, Hollywood movies and stories from people visiting from the US. Nevertheless, that isn't a complete picture. Here are a list of things that I didn't know or fully appreciate before coming here
1. Immigrants
While I always had the picture of "White America", coming to the Washington DC suburbs, I was surprised by the number of immigrants. In fact, where I live, I hardly hear a proper American accent, either at home, work or outside. My earlier post, "People I meet" talks about this.
2. The Conservative Movement
If many people want to close their eyes and not face the truth, they can create anything for that - media (FOX news), talk shows, books (Intelligent Design), experts, scientists (Will Happer - 'More C02 will be better for humanity') and even museums ('Creation Museum' Seeks to Disprove Evolution, Paleontology, Geology)! While I knew that Americans voted Bush with all his Conservative leanings, I had no idea of the extent of support structure for conservative ideals, however blatantly wrong they may be.
In India, being "conservative" has a negative connotation - "his parents are very conservative and will not allow him to stay out late." Being "liberal" has a positive connotation. Those who'd like to say that they are not enthused by modern radical ideas refer to themselves as "traditional". In the US, the "traditional" people refer to themselves as "Conservative" (which I found quite amusing). Among such circles, "liberal" is a bad word. How can being free and open ever be bad? Well, that's the Conservative Movement.
3. Racial Tensions - what really happens
Back in India, we learn about the American Civil War and racial tensions in the US. We also know of America welcoming talent from all around the world and celebrating their African-American sports heroes. Coming here, I was interested in learning the truth. Is America racist?
The short answer is no. Even in the most Conservative circles, being openly racist is looked down upon. People are polite irrespective of who you are. Still, several subtle biases still exist.
However, the question is more complicated than I initially thought. It is not just about White-Black or White-Brown racism. Tensions exist between all the various minority racial groups. In fact, such groups are more open and explicit about it, since they don't have a "racist" tag to avoid (see "Crash", a 2005 movie). My first glimpse was when I heard a black person rant to his friends about how Hispanic immigrants were a problem. "They cause all the trouble. It's not us. They should all be sent back to their country". Also, when I lived in a predominantly black housing complex, I felt the resentment towards outsiders and would occasionally encounter someone who was rude to me when I asked for directions.
4. Non-Profits
While NGOs in India are associated with social service and upliftment of the poor or underprivileged, there are Non-Profits for everything here - the environment, fiscal discipline of the government, for guns, against guns, monitor of Catholic law makers and even pro- and anti-circumcision. There is a Non-Profit for the wildest idea you may have.
Having been around for a long term, Non-Profits follow certain, almost business models. They have their standard lines, "We've been doing great work .... However, to keep up with the increasing need, we need your contribution" or "... are in great danger. If you don't act now, we will lose ...". Their methods include guilt tripping and sending you freebies (name stickers, greeting cards) to make you feel obliged.
5. Car culture
While I had heard that America was largely dependent on cars, I didn't fully appreciate it until I came here. Large parts of the country do not have decent public transport. Even the suburbs of Washington DC have places where no buses run. In many places that do have buses, they run only weekdays. The concept that you cannot go somewhere because you do not have a car was new to me.
In American culture (includes immigrants and all), people are very helpful towards those without a car. For any get together, you can always be sure that someone will give you a ride, from and to your doorstep. People who live out of public transport's reach, will pick and drop you off at the metro at the very least.
Ironically, one of the hardest things to do without a car is to buy one. The good cars get sold before you reach them. Many cars are in far flung places, out of reach. Seeing a car itself is a half day affair using the metro.
After buying a car, everything changed. There are no time restrictions to return. Far flung addresses don't evoke the question, "How will I get there". While I do my duty to help my car-less friends, I hardly spare a thought for bettering public transport to help the unfortunate people out there who don't have cars.
1. Immigrants
While I always had the picture of "White America", coming to the Washington DC suburbs, I was surprised by the number of immigrants. In fact, where I live, I hardly hear a proper American accent, either at home, work or outside. My earlier post, "People I meet" talks about this.
2. The Conservative Movement
If many people want to close their eyes and not face the truth, they can create anything for that - media (FOX news), talk shows, books (Intelligent Design), experts, scientists (Will Happer - 'More C02 will be better for humanity') and even museums ('Creation Museum' Seeks to Disprove Evolution, Paleontology, Geology)! While I knew that Americans voted Bush with all his Conservative leanings, I had no idea of the extent of support structure for conservative ideals, however blatantly wrong they may be.
In India, being "conservative" has a negative connotation - "his parents are very conservative and will not allow him to stay out late." Being "liberal" has a positive connotation. Those who'd like to say that they are not enthused by modern radical ideas refer to themselves as "traditional". In the US, the "traditional" people refer to themselves as "Conservative" (which I found quite amusing). Among such circles, "liberal" is a bad word. How can being free and open ever be bad? Well, that's the Conservative Movement.
3. Racial Tensions - what really happens
Back in India, we learn about the American Civil War and racial tensions in the US. We also know of America welcoming talent from all around the world and celebrating their African-American sports heroes. Coming here, I was interested in learning the truth. Is America racist?
The short answer is no. Even in the most Conservative circles, being openly racist is looked down upon. People are polite irrespective of who you are. Still, several subtle biases still exist.
However, the question is more complicated than I initially thought. It is not just about White-Black or White-Brown racism. Tensions exist between all the various minority racial groups. In fact, such groups are more open and explicit about it, since they don't have a "racist" tag to avoid (see "Crash", a 2005 movie). My first glimpse was when I heard a black person rant to his friends about how Hispanic immigrants were a problem. "They cause all the trouble. It's not us. They should all be sent back to their country". Also, when I lived in a predominantly black housing complex, I felt the resentment towards outsiders and would occasionally encounter someone who was rude to me when I asked for directions.
4. Non-Profits
While NGOs in India are associated with social service and upliftment of the poor or underprivileged, there are Non-Profits for everything here - the environment, fiscal discipline of the government, for guns, against guns, monitor of Catholic law makers and even pro- and anti-circumcision. There is a Non-Profit for the wildest idea you may have.
Having been around for a long term, Non-Profits follow certain, almost business models. They have their standard lines, "We've been doing great work .... However, to keep up with the increasing need, we need your contribution" or "... are in great danger. If you don't act now, we will lose ...". Their methods include guilt tripping and sending you freebies (name stickers, greeting cards) to make you feel obliged.
5. Car culture
While I had heard that America was largely dependent on cars, I didn't fully appreciate it until I came here. Large parts of the country do not have decent public transport. Even the suburbs of Washington DC have places where no buses run. In many places that do have buses, they run only weekdays. The concept that you cannot go somewhere because you do not have a car was new to me.
In American culture (includes immigrants and all), people are very helpful towards those without a car. For any get together, you can always be sure that someone will give you a ride, from and to your doorstep. People who live out of public transport's reach, will pick and drop you off at the metro at the very least.
Ironically, one of the hardest things to do without a car is to buy one. The good cars get sold before you reach them. Many cars are in far flung places, out of reach. Seeing a car itself is a half day affair using the metro.
After buying a car, everything changed. There are no time restrictions to return. Far flung addresses don't evoke the question, "How will I get there". While I do my duty to help my car-less friends, I hardly spare a thought for bettering public transport to help the unfortunate people out there who don't have cars.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Of Men and Politics
Here is a joke I once heard from a friend
Mr. & Mrs. Sharma celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Friends compliment them on how happy their marriage has been. Mrs. Sharma says
"The secret of our happy marriage is that the woman makes the small decisions, while the man makes the big decisions. For example, I decide the vacations we take and the children's school"
Someone says, "What about the car you drive?" - "Small decision"
"Finance and saving?" - "Small decision"
"House you live?" - "Small decision"
"What then are the big decisions?" - "Who should be Prime Minister; Is George Bush right; Should India sign the nuclear deal"
The joke captures the essence of what I'm going to say. As a kid growing up in India, I remember that in parties, men and women would often separate. The men, would talk about politics, while the women talked about the more everyday things like kids, friends or the vegetable market.
As I got older, many men would try to educate me about the facts of life - Congress misrule for 40 years, how India could have done better if Nehru had been more aggressive on Kashmir and how politicians are ruining the country. I guess I have to mention my grandfather's pet theory on how politicians continue to keep people uneducated and make them reproduce rapidly so that they can get more votes. If only India would make education necessary to be eligible to vote, we can get rid of the "rogues" (current set of corrupt politicians).
With time, I learnt that men with strong political views often never thought things through. Going to college and living in a hostel exposed me to a range of political views. And since we often talked about these things to friends and wing-mates, I learnt how to argue my case out, whatever it might be. It didn't take much probing to tell that men and their strong political opinions were heavily biased or flawed and often said things which had very little basis if at all.
Of course, the men themselves were nice people. It was quite time later before I realized that political opinions were disconnected from the rest of their personality. It seemed strange why a genuinely nice person would have such intense hatred for Muslims, people he has no knowledge about. I also noticed that older people had stronger opinions. The younger men, people in their twenties, usually did not say much and politely listened while the others ranted.
I noticed that women would never enter any of these discussions. One particular "mama" ("uncle") was telling me why India should launch a full scale war against Pakistan. At some point, I felt, "This mama is too extreme. I need another opinion to counter it". When the mami passed by, I looked to her and was hoping she would give her opinion. Surely she couldn't be living with a man who wanted to bomb Pakistan and be quiet about it. She politely asked me about how I was doing, my studies and all, and then left me to the mama after that.
Now, the question is, is there a point to an argument? I guess one is duty bound to defend oneself and one's kind, and needs to educate the lesser enlightened. On several occasions, I've had to tell people in Bangalore that North Indians (in the South, UP doesn't sound very different from Punjab, and so I might as well say all North Indians) are nice and hospitable people, even though the worst politicians and goondas come from there. Many of these discussions have a positive effect and people either rethink their views or maybe just don't say it in my presence. It was through such arguments that I learnt many things, such as how people's lives depend on subsidies - while there may be lots of corruption and misuse, one simply can't eliminate them.
Okay. Then when is an argument pointless? When neither party learns anything new. I've spent many hours trying to show holes in flawed logic and explain that Pakistan consists of people for the most part. A complete waste of time. I take that back. I've learnt something new - never to do it again. Women knew this all along. Makes me feel stupid. Anyway, my policy now is to disagree but not argue. This is quite hard to do, particularly when the other person has a fiery speech ready to be delivered. Despite my staunch resolution not to waste time arguing, one my roommates at College Park got me arguing about why Israel doesn't control the world. This brings me to another point. An argument is even more pointless if its outcome will not change anything. Even if learn that Israel is manipulating Egyptian policy, it doesn't change anything. I'm a powerless individual, who is most likely not to campaign to change Israel's foreign policy. Even if went all out to change something, I probably wouldn't make much of a difference. In that light, one might as well let men have their say on how India should treat Pakistan. Save the argument for how easy it is to use the Internet.
Life in the US has been different, with regards to talking politics. Barring that one roommate, most people my age don't argue about politics. Young couples prefer talking about the more everyday things like work, houses, vacations or kids. Americans do not talk to politics to people they do not know well. Rants, if any, in a group of physicists, are highly leftist and much to my liking. A welcome relief! The occasional time I've visited older Indians (those with grown up kids) in the US, I've chosen the ladies' conversation table.
I had almost forgotten about pointless political arguments. However, recently, on an IITK alumni mailing list, I've noticed that a few people have begun to rant about the so called "Secular India" - how Christians are mass converting Hindus and how Hinduism is dying out. When I voiced my dissent, I was pointedly challenged by one particular person, Mr.X. Since he seemed rational, I wrote a lengthy email educating him about certain things about the South he never knew. To my credit, some other people appreciated my email, and with a halo on my head, I felt that I had done some good. Much to my dismay, it looks like Mr.X's political views haven't changed at all and he has conveniently forgotten the things I said. Also, he isn't the only one and there are a couple others like him, some of them terribly illogical. On further scrutiny, I noticed that these people seem to be my age to a few years older to me. That's when it dawned on me. The next generation of crazy theory politic speaking men is born!
I've sworn to myself. When I get old, I will keep my political views to myself. Even if I have the magic formula to make India a great place, I would do better by working for an NGO or giving to charity.
Mr. & Mrs. Sharma celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. Friends compliment them on how happy their marriage has been. Mrs. Sharma says
"The secret of our happy marriage is that the woman makes the small decisions, while the man makes the big decisions. For example, I decide the vacations we take and the children's school"
Someone says, "What about the car you drive?" - "Small decision"
"Finance and saving?" - "Small decision"
"House you live?" - "Small decision"
"What then are the big decisions?" - "Who should be Prime Minister; Is George Bush right; Should India sign the nuclear deal"
The joke captures the essence of what I'm going to say. As a kid growing up in India, I remember that in parties, men and women would often separate. The men, would talk about politics, while the women talked about the more everyday things like kids, friends or the vegetable market.
As I got older, many men would try to educate me about the facts of life - Congress misrule for 40 years, how India could have done better if Nehru had been more aggressive on Kashmir and how politicians are ruining the country. I guess I have to mention my grandfather's pet theory on how politicians continue to keep people uneducated and make them reproduce rapidly so that they can get more votes. If only India would make education necessary to be eligible to vote, we can get rid of the "rogues" (current set of corrupt politicians).
With time, I learnt that men with strong political views often never thought things through. Going to college and living in a hostel exposed me to a range of political views. And since we often talked about these things to friends and wing-mates, I learnt how to argue my case out, whatever it might be. It didn't take much probing to tell that men and their strong political opinions were heavily biased or flawed and often said things which had very little basis if at all.
Of course, the men themselves were nice people. It was quite time later before I realized that political opinions were disconnected from the rest of their personality. It seemed strange why a genuinely nice person would have such intense hatred for Muslims, people he has no knowledge about. I also noticed that older people had stronger opinions. The younger men, people in their twenties, usually did not say much and politely listened while the others ranted.
I noticed that women would never enter any of these discussions. One particular "mama" ("uncle") was telling me why India should launch a full scale war against Pakistan. At some point, I felt, "This mama is too extreme. I need another opinion to counter it". When the mami passed by, I looked to her and was hoping she would give her opinion. Surely she couldn't be living with a man who wanted to bomb Pakistan and be quiet about it. She politely asked me about how I was doing, my studies and all, and then left me to the mama after that.
Now, the question is, is there a point to an argument? I guess one is duty bound to defend oneself and one's kind, and needs to educate the lesser enlightened. On several occasions, I've had to tell people in Bangalore that North Indians (in the South, UP doesn't sound very different from Punjab, and so I might as well say all North Indians) are nice and hospitable people, even though the worst politicians and goondas come from there. Many of these discussions have a positive effect and people either rethink their views or maybe just don't say it in my presence. It was through such arguments that I learnt many things, such as how people's lives depend on subsidies - while there may be lots of corruption and misuse, one simply can't eliminate them.
Okay. Then when is an argument pointless? When neither party learns anything new. I've spent many hours trying to show holes in flawed logic and explain that Pakistan consists of people for the most part. A complete waste of time. I take that back. I've learnt something new - never to do it again. Women knew this all along. Makes me feel stupid. Anyway, my policy now is to disagree but not argue. This is quite hard to do, particularly when the other person has a fiery speech ready to be delivered. Despite my staunch resolution not to waste time arguing, one my roommates at College Park got me arguing about why Israel doesn't control the world. This brings me to another point. An argument is even more pointless if its outcome will not change anything. Even if learn that Israel is manipulating Egyptian policy, it doesn't change anything. I'm a powerless individual, who is most likely not to campaign to change Israel's foreign policy. Even if went all out to change something, I probably wouldn't make much of a difference. In that light, one might as well let men have their say on how India should treat Pakistan. Save the argument for how easy it is to use the Internet.
Life in the US has been different, with regards to talking politics. Barring that one roommate, most people my age don't argue about politics. Young couples prefer talking about the more everyday things like work, houses, vacations or kids. Americans do not talk to politics to people they do not know well. Rants, if any, in a group of physicists, are highly leftist and much to my liking. A welcome relief! The occasional time I've visited older Indians (those with grown up kids) in the US, I've chosen the ladies' conversation table.
I had almost forgotten about pointless political arguments. However, recently, on an IITK alumni mailing list, I've noticed that a few people have begun to rant about the so called "Secular India" - how Christians are mass converting Hindus and how Hinduism is dying out. When I voiced my dissent, I was pointedly challenged by one particular person, Mr.X. Since he seemed rational, I wrote a lengthy email educating him about certain things about the South he never knew. To my credit, some other people appreciated my email, and with a halo on my head, I felt that I had done some good. Much to my dismay, it looks like Mr.X's political views haven't changed at all and he has conveniently forgotten the things I said. Also, he isn't the only one and there are a couple others like him, some of them terribly illogical. On further scrutiny, I noticed that these people seem to be my age to a few years older to me. That's when it dawned on me. The next generation of crazy theory politic speaking men is born!
I've sworn to myself. When I get old, I will keep my political views to myself. Even if I have the magic formula to make India a great place, I would do better by working for an NGO or giving to charity.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
The People I meet
Key -
Blue - ubiquitous
Reddish Brown - roommates
Lilac - University of Maryland
Green - NIST & Research connections
Light Brown - Random encounters
Living in Washington DC has opened me to a wide variety of people, particularly with respect to national origin. I've always been curious as to where people come from, and often have shamelessly asked people I've just met (Ice cream vendor or taxi driver or metro co-passenger), where they come from. Surprisingly, most people are happy to tell me that and many have told me how life is back in their country.
I've also been fascinated by maps. It felt nice to put all the kinds of people I've met into a colourful map.
Some observations
- I've had roommates from every continent in the world.
- I realize that being in Washington DC, being associated with NIST (National Institute of Standards and Technology) and being associated with UMD (University or Marlyand) all contribute to the diversity of the people I meet.
- Americans, Chinese, Indians, South Koreans, Russians and Mexicans (Filipinos and Brits to a lesser extent) seem everywhere.
- Broadly, I tend to meet people from developed countries through NIST (and research connections), people from developing countries through UMD, and people from other countries through random meetings.
- Amongst the most rare and exotic countries, I've met people from Togo (pop. 6.3 million), Nicaragua (pop. 5.8 million), Finland (pop. 5.2 million), Eritrea (pop. 5.5 million), New Zealand (pop. 4.3 million), Lebanon (pop. 4 million), Mongolia (pop. 2.6 million), Botswana (pop. 1.9 million).
- I've met many people from El Salvador (pop 7 million), a small country in Latin America. El Salvador had a brutal civil war (1980-1992), which may explain how there are so many immigrants here. There are so many Salvadoreans in the Wash DC metro area that there are even Salvadorean gangs (MS-13). Most of the Spanish speaking people I encounter are Salvadoreans.
- I've met a lot of Ethiopians. They speak Amhari. Sometimes, asking someone what language they are speaking (to either their family or colleague) is a better way of asking what country they come from.
- Given that I've personally met people from so many countries, I think that there are people from almost every single country here in Washington DC.
- I've met many African-Americans (so called "Blacks" or people of African origin who have lived in the US since colonial times). The African-American community is quite distinct from the rest of America and I would have liked if I could assign them another place on the map. While many people I've met don't distinguish African-Americans from Africans (I'm referring to people who've recently come from Africa), I think there is a world of difference, from appearance to accent to community. Africans come much closer to other immigrants. They have their tiny communities and look upon the US as opportunity and livelihood. African-Americans have a long history here, and form a large community amongst themselves.
- I've not met anyone who referred to him/her self as a Native American or Pacific Islander. However, according to a study in 2004, Puerto Ricans (US territory in the Carribbean) have 17.6% Native American ancestory proportion. Maybe that is the closest one can get to meeting a true American.
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